Dumbledore's Mistakes
by emuroo
Summary: A last statement from Dumbledore to Harry in which Dumbledore tells the stories of some of the mistakes he has made. Tiny mentions of Dumbledore/Grindelwald slash. Barely there. Part of my reflections series, but stands alone. ONESHOT.


Disclaimer: Nothing that you recognize is mine. It belongs to the wonderful author.

Dedication: To Sing-Your-Heart-Out for the suggestion

Warning: Mentions of Dumbledore/Grindelwald. As in Albus talking about being in love with him. I'm sorry if the topic offends anyone, but J.K. Rowling says so, and I couldn't do the story properly without mentioning it. If you don't like it, please don't flame me just because of that! Thank you.

Dumbledore's Mistakes

Mistakes. I have made many in my long life. Now, as I sit here, writing a last letter, or rather a last statement, of sorts to you, Harry, I can only hope that my rights outnumber my wrongs. By the time you get this, the war will be over, though I know not what the cost to you will have been. I can only hope that I have done the right thing.

I laid a burden on your shoulders when you were young, but I hope that you know that I believe you can win. You remind me of another young man older than you. He too killed a dark lord because of the harm the man had caused his family. You remind me of myself. Though of course you did not… Well, you shall see.

As you probably know, I defeated a dark lord of my own.

Gellert Grindelwald.

My first mistake.

By now you have spoken with me, and I have told you the story of my family. I will not bore you with rehashing tales you have already heard told. I believe that you are likely to have learned of the fact that Gellert and I formed a friendship. We would save the world using the Deathly Hallows.

That summer was brilliant. We planned, we talked strategy and politics, everything. I had found an equal, someone with whom I could carry on a proper conversation. I was ecstatic.

That is where the trouble started. I was so impressed by Gellert. He was so very smart, and handsome, and he had an undeniable charisma. Couple that with a touch of danger, and, well, I started to fall for him.

I fell in love with Gellert Grindelwald. If I had not I would, perhaps, not have been so easily blinded by his words. But I did and I was. He promised glory, and I, at the age of seventeen wanted it.

He knew just how to bait his trap, and I fell for it. Had I not done so, I might well have been able to forestall a great deal of harm. Alas, as I told you on that terrible night near the end of you fifth year, my greatest flaw has always been caring too much.

Or, in the case of Ariana and Aberforth, too little. Far too little. You see I let my obsession with Grindelwald distract me, at a time when I should have been taking care of my family. I blinded myself to his faults. It was my fault that my sister died.

Whose wand cast the charm is irrelevant. The only important matter is the fact that had I not become so very obsessed with Gellert she would not have died.

My second mistake.

Of course it took me many years to accept responsibility for this. After all, who wants to be at fault for the death of their sister? But this denial led to another mistake.

I was desperate to distance myself from power, from any reminder of my past. I became a teacher. I was in such a hurry to hide from my past, that I caused even more harm. Had I tried to stop Gellert early on I might have been able to avoid so many deaths.

Even if no one else understood the signs, I knew early, or would have, had I paid attention. I knew the meaning of the triangle. I knew that it symbolized the Deathly Hallows.

I waited too long to confront him, too scared of the things he might tell me. As this Third mistake occurred a fourth one took place simultaneously.

I was, as you know, the first wizard to have contact with Tom Riddle after his mother's death. I know that it is foolish, but I feel that I might somehow have been able to stop him from becoming what he did had I simply tried harder.

Once again I suppose I can trace it back to Gellert. Had I not been so concerned with him perhaps I could have made a difference. For try as I might I could not ignore the events overseas. I could not forget that it was in part my fault, for helping him begin. I should have learned previously that thinking of Gellert and ignoring those in my care was dangerous. I should have stopped Voldemort. I could have done it, I am sure.

So, my fourth mistake: not nipping Tom in the bud.

Then there is my plan. I have used you. It was for good cause, for the greater good, so some might say. I, of course, would not be one of them, having rather lost my taste for the phrase. I have put you through great hardship, and will put you through more.

My fifth mistake has touched you mare than any other, and for that I am sorry.

My sixth mistake was touching the resurrection stone. I had no right to allow myself to forget who and where I was. I should have known the consequence of my touching it would be dreadful. Yet I did it anyway. I took myself from you when you needed me. I will not be there at the final battle or any such thing.

I am only able to write this statement. To tell you that I have loved you as my own son. I can only hope that you do not make as many mistakes as I have. That I have taught you well enough. Then at least, I will have done one good thing, made one person's life better.

With that I leave you, with only these words, words I hope you will remember well.

Nitwit, oddment, blubber, tweak.

Happy twentieth birthday, Harry Potter.

Author's note: This is part of a series called Reflections. They are about characters reflecting on a bunch of different things. There are others, each about a different character. I am asking for suggestions of characters whose reflections you want to see. I will dedicate the story to you if you suggest a character, as well as sending you a message when I put the story up if you sign your review. Please give me suggestions. I promise to respond to every review. Also, I have made use of the new feature that lets me put a poll in my profile to find out what characters you all want reflections on. Therefore, I'd like to ask that you go do it. I will be very grateful.


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